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Dear Parents,
The rule about how if you go to college you automatically get a life has been repealed. Too many are going, and there aren't enough lives to go around. At this time only a few majors grant an automatic life upon 4-year graduation. They are: Nursing, Finance, Accounting, Pharmacy, and many (but not all) classifications of Engineering.
If you are pressing your child to go to college because you want them to have a life, and they are interested in a B.A. degree of any form, we urge you instead to send them to learn a trade, or to enter a profession with a decent ladder. As a bonus, instead of being a money drain, they will start earning at an earlier age.
Also, we have noticed that most colleges are just places where kids go to root for a corrupt football program, drink enormous amounts of beer, and smoke enormous amounts of weed. Although we are in favor of these things, we do not believe they should be automatically endowed to do so, by you or by society.
Thank You
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