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Originally Posted by Crimson Ghost
EATING TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAYS
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly...It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas.
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Wholly endorse this. Same with liquers - which only rich people have all year round (trailer park trash like me down them in one session)
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5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it.
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I live life by this rule. Also it has no calories if uyou haven't ordered it/ paid for it. And in the case of a friendly not-quite-empty in a pub it doesn't count as alcohol either.
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7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like Stilton [amended, who the fuck wants cookies when there's good cheese around?], position yourself near them and don't budge.
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9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all costs. I mean, have some standards.
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And it's topped with marzipan. Which was the invention of the devil. Check serial killers' preferences through the ages, when asked if they liked marzipan an incredible 98% said yes.