[orthodoc]

I know this is a 'discovery' type lesson; she's chosen that. The stakes and cost of failure are high, though. She's changed the odds of being able to support herself independently in a career she loves from being generally in her favor to being very much against her. She could be that rare exception but most of us aren't. She's also put herself in the position of not being able to walk away from a bad relationship and know she can support herself. And, once children are involved, her chance of crafting a life that includes all the elements important to her virtually disappears when the father is an immature asshat who indulges his imaginary 'PTSD' and 'nerves' at the slightest excuse.

But these are her choices. You don't get do-overs in the big stuff; she's permanently trashing her career options in that industry. Watching that happen, watching her set a match to her own dreams, is hard. Watching the asshat manipulate her for his own narcissistic benefit is hard. But watching is all I can do right now.