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glatt · 04-30-2004, 10:43 AM

It's always very dangeous to generalize about things like this. However, I am going to try.

One thing that has changed in the last 30 years or so is that many women go to work now. Parents aren't home with the kids. They are paying other people to raise the kids. Few people are willing to come out and say the obvious truth that daycare is usually worse for children than having a parent care for them. It's worse in a couple of ways.

1) Daycare centers and nannys don't care about a kid as much as a good parent does. They are less likely to be concerned about raising the child to be a good grown-up. Instead, what they want to do is get through the day with as little conflict as possible. They do not try to teach values and morals. They have activities, and when there is conflict between kids, they use distraction as a way of dealing with it. If a parent was present during conflict, the parent could use that as an opportunity to teach the kids why certain behaviour is wrong and how certain things are expected of them. They can instill values in the kid by strikign while the iron is hot, right after an issue comes up.

2) When the parents come home, they don't know what to do with their kids. They are less experienced than they would be if they were home with the kids all day, and they are often unsure how to deal with problems as they come up.

3) In the "old days" moms would often talk with one another during the day to get ideas on how to deal with kids. There was a shared knowledge. Now, most parents don't have that support group to turn to. They have to turn to books, which help, but are often not so good at giving a person the self-confidence and sense of camraderie they need.

Study after study have shown that the first 2-3 years of a child's life are the most important ones for child development. That's when the child learns how the world works. That's when the behaviour and personality is basically set in stone. (At least those parts that aren't determined genetically before birth.) A child that get lots of love and attention will learn that the world is basically a good place. They will be more likely to grow up well adjusted and with a respect for fellow humans. You are really laying the foundation for the child's entire life in those first couple years. Parents usually do a better job of it than the constantly rotating staff of a daycare center.

BY the way, parents include both women and men. Men can stay home and raise the kids just as well as women can.

04-30-2004, 10:43 AM	#31
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	It's always very dangeous to generalize about things like this. However, I am going to try. One thing that has changed in the last 30 years or so is that many women go to work now. Parents aren't home with the kids. They are paying other people to raise the kids. Few people are willing to come out and say the obvious truth that daycare is usually worse for children than having a parent care for them. It's worse in a couple of ways. 1) Daycare centers and nannys don't care about a kid as much as a good parent does. They are less likely to be concerned about raising the child to be a good grown-up. Instead, what they want to do is get through the day with as little conflict as possible. They do not try to teach values and morals. They have activities, and when there is conflict between kids, they use distraction as a way of dealing with it. If a parent was present during conflict, the parent could use that as an opportunity to teach the kids why certain behaviour is wrong and how certain things are expected of them. They can instill values in the kid by strikign while the iron is hot, right after an issue comes up. 2) When the parents come home, they don't know what to do with their kids. They are less experienced than they would be if they were home with the kids all day, and they are often unsure how to deal with problems as they come up. 3) In the "old days" moms would often talk with one another during the day to get ideas on how to deal with kids. There was a shared knowledge. Now, most parents don't have that support group to turn to. They have to turn to books, which help, but are often not so good at giving a person the self-confidence and sense of camraderie they need. Study after study have shown that the first 2-3 years of a child's life are the most important ones for child development. That's when the child learns how the world works. That's when the behaviour and personality is basically set in stone. (At least those parts that aren't determined genetically before birth.) A child that get lots of love and attention will learn that the world is basically a good place. They will be more likely to grow up well adjusted and with a respect for fellow humans. You are really laying the foundation for the child's entire life in those first couple years. Parents usually do a better job of it than the constantly rotating staff of a daycare center. BY the way, parents include both women and men. Men can stay home and raise the kids just as well as women can.