I've said it before, but you might not have read it MTP.
When I lived in Leicester, I was not allowed a rescue cat/ cats.
Because I lived on a main road.
Even though there were two doors between my flat and the road. And I told them from the start I wanted an indoor cat because I had no secure outdoor space. NB - neither of my boys
ever got onto the main road.
It's more common now, in fact the very charities that turned me down now put out Homes Needed notices for "indoor cat only".
But that's why I ended up with two pedigrees.
And because they were older I got them at a discount, and by the time I'd have paid all the fees and the obligatory donation there was only about £50 difference. And I was working then.
The breeder wouldn't have sold to me if she had a crystal ball.
Losing Dylan and leading Diz a rackety old life in other people's houses.
But she didn't and I didn't.
And there is no doubt my remaining boy loves the very bones of me, as I do him - in our different ways.
Physically it would probably still be kinder to give him up.
With my health problems and financial problems I am ill suited to a cat who may start showing signs of old-age soon.
But emotionally and in terms of having formed a bond, I know we would both be miserable apart.
And no, I don't think I am projecting. Cat used to follow me to work. He still follows me about the house. Warm fire and Mum's welcome arms and lap in the living room (she loves both her troubled charges) and he'd still rather sit on my lap in an unheated bedroom while I read. Although I admit I will often pull the duvet up over him. After our freezy time in the draughty Leicester flat his favourite place has always been snoozing on my legs with the covers drawn up over his head
And when I am away (3-5 days max) he hides in my room, comes down to eat, then hides again. He's been living here for ?4? years.
Sorry, none of that helps you.
Just sharing how I feel, in sympathy. A dog on a string sitting next to a busker can be happier and feel more secure than a dog who is scolded every time they walk across the kitchen floor with wet paws or is shut away in a garage with a Mercedes for company all day.
I'm just glad you have Della. And I'm so sorry you were able to form a bond and then have the chance taken away from you. And from Toby.