[BigV]

Originally Posted by Sundae

Too US-specialist for me to answer.

So for the Brits on the board, the Are You A Pikey? test below.
It sets the bat far higher than the test above. I reached Pikey Island status three times over I think. But that's why it's funny.

Ok, let's go!

Originally Posted by Sundae

1) Have you ever purchased something from Iceland?

How about Mexico, because it was cheap kitsch schlock? Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

2) Have you ever owned an electrical appliance made by Hinari?

Don't have Hinari here, but I've bought some cheap no-name store brand junk, for sure. Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

3) Have you ever purchased a KFC Family Bucket?

Is this a trick question? Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

4) Have you ever hung pine fresh tree shaped air freshener on your rear view mirror?

Um, yeah. Do I get bonus points for having one hung from the back of my waistband? Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

5) Have you ever bought or worn shoes from Barratts?

No.

Originally Posted by Sundae

6) Have you ever considered Pizza Hut an Italian Restaurant?

Hahaha.. yes, of course. Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

7) Have you ever bought clothes from Matalan?

No... too fancy pants.

Originally Posted by Sundae

8) Have you ever eaten Findus Lasagne?

Does Stouffer's Lasagnacount? Check

Originally Posted by Sundae

9) Have you ever worn jewellery from "" or "Argos"?

No.

Originally Posted by Sundae

10) Have you ever eaten a Pot Noodle?

Translated to Top Ramen, or Cup O' Noodles, check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

11) Have you ever bought fresh cut flowers from a petrol station as a present?

I didn't buy them for myself! Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

12) Have you ever bought a second class stamp?

LOL! Not that I know of.

Originally Posted by Sundae

13) Have you ever knowingly bought own brand cola?

If this translates to "store brand" then the answer is definitely yes. Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

14) Do you think Marks and Spencer's food hall is too expensive?

Probably, but, can't say for sure.

Originally Posted by Sundae

15) Have you ever travelled by EasyJet?

No, actually. But I've traveled by Greyhound bus.

Originally Posted by Sundae

16) Have you anything in your wardrobe which is at least 50% polyester?

Yes, check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

17) Have you ever fantasised about owning a Ford Mondeo?

Not specifically. I looked it up... I don't get it.

Originally Posted by Sundae

18) Are you on first name terms with any bus drivers?

Have been, am not currently, but that may change as my financial situation deteriorates.

Originally Posted by Sundae

19) Have you ever recommended a Wetherspoons as a decent steak restaurant?

Is that like TGI Fridays? Maybe. Then, no.

Originally Posted by Sundae

20) Have you ever relieved a hotel room of it's freebie shower gel or shampoo?

Yes, as often as possible. Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

21) Have you ever drunk a can of lager you found on a train?

Ugh. No.

Originally Posted by Sundae

22) Have you ever offered to buy a cigarette from someone?

No. Have been asked to sell one though.

Originally Posted by Sundae

23) Have you ever brought a screw top bottle of wine to a dinner party?

Yep. Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

24) Have you ever referred to dessert as "afters"?

Hahahah... No.

Originally Posted by Sundae

25) Have you ever worn the same pair of socks 2 days running?

Yes. Check. (I should just stop now. I'm a redneck/piker whatevah).

Originally Posted by Sundae

26) Have you ever removed a boiled sweet or gum and saved it for later?

*sigh* Yes. Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

27) Have you ever left washing out on the line for more than 24 hours?

Yes. Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

28) Have you ever dreamed of owning a camper van?

Yes. Check. (Mid 80s vintage VW Vanagon 4WD camper. Hell fucking yes.)

Originally Posted by Sundae

29) Have you ever christened your home with a name and then included it on your postal address ie: "Dunroamin"?

hahhahaha... nope.

Originally Posted by Sundae

30) Have you ever bought a garden ornament from B&Q, ie: Stone squirrel, Ornamental wheelbarrow etc?

Yes, from local retailers, naturally. I've owned stone squirrels. Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

31) Have you ever owned an "eternal beau" dinner or tea service?

Not even gonna look that one up. No tea services. Do have dishes that matched when I unpacked them from the box though.

Originally Posted by Sundae

32) Have you ever owned or used a sausage dog draught excluder?

Are you counting only retail units? Homemade, check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

33) Have you ever erected a flashing snowman or fairly lights outside your house at Christmas?

Fairy lights. And lighted animated reindeer. And art deco trees. Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

34) Have you ever placed a jewel encrusted tissue box on your rear parcel shelf?

No. What credit would I get for a team logo cap for my favorite baseball team?

Originally Posted by Sundae

35) Have you ever visited a Little Chef of Happy Eater apart from to use the loos in desperation?

No. But I looked them up too, and they seem to fit right in with my highly adventuresome and miserly eating habits. I'll take credit. Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

36) Have you ever cut out and used money off coupons from a magazine?

Yes. Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

37) Have you ever received a calendar from your local takeaway?

Yep. Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

38) Do you know anyone from Penge?

heheh... No idea.

Originally Posted by Sundae

39) Have you ever bought and used "Shake n' Vac"?

Translation: Carpet Fresh. Check.

Originally Posted by Sundae

40) Are any of your parents of family well known "down the precinct"?

LOL. Happily, no.

Originally Posted by Sundae

Now tot up your "yes" scores and check below to see if you are a Pikey:


0 Yes Answers:
You live in Mayfair and spend all your time in Harvey Nicks. All your friends are called Henry or Henrietta and you've never even heard of TopShop. You don't drive as your chauffeur takes you everywhere. You live on a macrobiotic diet carefully prepared for you by Jamie Oliver. The only airlines you recognise are those that daddy owns. The only pikey you have ever come across is a stuffed one created by Damien Hurst and showing at the Tate Modern.

1-5 Answers:
You're generally far removed from Pikey Island, however, your brother once introduced you to a girl who lived on an estate and shattered your illusions of Barrett Homes being a character from an Emily Bronte novel. You like expensive shops and generally only travel by London Taxi. Your mother once served you fish fingers, however you have adapated enough in adult life to only purchase Tesco's finest crab cakes as a substitute. You have the presence of mind to sneer at a bottle of Freixenet.

6-10 Answers:
You are definitely entering the danger zone here. You have owned at sometime in your life a pet fish won from a funfair. You regularly buy Superdrug's own brand toiletries but ensure you carry them home in a Clinique carrier bag. You have a number of gold cards and run a respectable enough car, however, you would do well to remove the "Baby on board" sticker from the back. You enjoy good food and wine courtesy of Delia Smith's home cookery course and have been to University.

11-15 Answers:
You have a whiff of dog blanket about you and your shoes need to be resoled. You enjoy garden centres and eating out at country pubs. You're quite well known at the local KwikFit and think nothing of sticking a Bart Simpson doll to your reat seat window. You have often enjoyed a curry or kebab after a night down the pub and have used a doorway as a public toilet. It is likely that you have been arrested for a minor offence and count George Best as an idol. You are likely to have been educated to A level standard.

16+ Answers:
There is no hope for you - you are well and truly an escapee from Pikey Island. You will now forever be known as first name "Pikey do as ya likey" surname. You think that Blue Nun is a choice wine and always cook Spag Bol at dinner parties. None of your home cutlery matches and a few of your mugs have established chipping to the handles. Every room in your house is painted Magnolia and you have a dado rail in your living room. You name children after pop or filmstars and buy the Sunday Sport as an informative newspaper. Your car is made by Ford and has fag burns in the driver seat. You've only been to Spain on holiday.

SCORE==24. That's an unsurprised 24, by the way.