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TheMercenary · 10-10-2007, 01:41 PM

Hmmmm... life advice. Good stuff. How to be happy? Hmmmm I may have to add to this later as well. Oh well here goes for an off the cuff response.

Like the others have said, and some very important lessons so I will try not to repeat them if I can.

1. Learn to control the things you can and don't stress over the things you can't. This sounds so simplistic but if you start to look around you and apply this to every single thing that makes you mad on a daily basis you will find it will relieve a lot of personal stress. Try it as an exercise in the course of a day or a week. Every time you get pissed off about some thing ask yourself, "how much of this situation is in my control and what can I do to change it right now". A lot of the time you will find that you really cannot control alot of what makes you unhappy or angry. Accept it and move on but don't stress over it or even dwell on it. "Whatever" becomes a useful phrase in these situations.

2. Don't hang around people or in situations that make you unhappy. There are people you have to interact with on a daily basis that are really just unpleasant. They may be angry or sad or bitchy or whatever... but that doesn't mean you have to have them home for dinner. Do your business with them and move on. You don't need to engage in long conversations with them, interact only as much as you need to, and then move along. Being around negativity will bring you down. The mood will rub off on you.

3. (leadership principle here) People always want to make their problems your problems. Don't let that happen. Compassion is good, as is empathy, sympathy can be dangerous to your well being. When people bring problems to you always ask yourself is this my problem, their problem, or a system problem. It is rarely your problem, but if they can get you to take on their problem that is not good for you or your personal happiness. People want to make their problems your problems for many reasons. The more they can get you to invest in their problems the less they have to deal with them. Resist it. Help if you can but don't become so invested in the problems that eventually they are your problems and now you have to deal with them.

4. Never pick a career or do a job that makes you say to yourself, "I hate this job" or "I hate going to work". If you do, you need to get out of it and find another job or get another career. Shity jobs will make you unhappy. That doesn't mean you can't do jobs like that as a bridge to something better, most of us do at many times in our life. But don't make it a career or plan on doing it forever.

5. Intimate relationships. This is a tough one and JMHO, so take it for what it is. Don't stay in negative relationships because it is convenient.

I will think on some of this and may add to it... I hope this is constructive.

10-10-2007, 01:41 PM	#4
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Hmmmm... life advice. Good stuff. How to be happy? Hmmmm I may have to add to this later as well. Oh well here goes for an off the cuff response. Like the others have said, and some very important lessons so I will try not to repeat them if I can. 1. Learn to control the things you can and don't stress over the things you can't. This sounds so simplistic but if you start to look around you and apply this to every single thing that makes you mad on a daily basis you will find it will relieve a lot of personal stress. Try it as an exercise in the course of a day or a week. Every time you get pissed off about some thing ask yourself, "how much of this situation is in my control and what can I do to change it right now". A lot of the time you will find that you really cannot control alot of what makes you unhappy or angry. Accept it and move on but don't stress over it or even dwell on it. "Whatever" becomes a useful phrase in these situations. 2. Don't hang around people or in situations that make you unhappy. There are people you have to interact with on a daily basis that are really just unpleasant. They may be angry or sad or bitchy or whatever... but that doesn't mean you have to have them home for dinner. Do your business with them and move on. You don't need to engage in long conversations with them, interact only as much as you need to, and then move along. Being around negativity will bring you down. The mood will rub off on you. 3. (leadership principle here) People always want to make their problems your problems. Don't let that happen. Compassion is good, as is empathy, sympathy can be dangerous to your well being. When people bring problems to you always ask yourself is this my problem, their problem, or a system problem. It is rarely your problem, but if they can get you to take on their problem that is not good for you or your personal happiness. People want to make their problems your problems for many reasons. The more they can get you to invest in their problems the less they have to deal with them. Resist it. Help if you can but don't become so invested in the problems that eventually they are your problems and now you have to deal with them. 4. Never pick a career or do a job that makes you say to yourself, "I hate this job" or "I hate going to work". If you do, you need to get out of it and find another job or get another career. Shity jobs will make you unhappy. That doesn't mean you can't do jobs like that as a bridge to something better, most of us do at many times in our life. But don't make it a career or plan on doing it forever. 5. Intimate relationships. This is a tough one and JMHO, so take it for what it is. Don't stay in negative relationships because it is convenient. I will think on some of this and may add to it... I hope this is constructive. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!