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Clodfobble · 12-08-2007, 10:47 PM

I think there's a different stigma to "meeting online" versus getting connected through an online dating service. With the latter, it is assumed you are really only using it as an initial matchmaker, and then you meet in person and begin actually dating. However, if you say you "met" online, that implies a relationship that developed significantly through text long before ever meeting. It absolutely can work out, of course--I know of several marriages, myself--but you have to admit that there are aspects of personality that one can sometimes miss when only text is involved. It all depends on how well each person translates themselves into written word.

I had a friend, for example, that I had to simply stop emailing and only ever contact on the phone, because for reasons hard to pinpoint, his emails always came off stilted, arrogant, and downright rude when no offense was ever meant. Other friends agreed with me; he just didn't know how to express himself the same way he did when he talked, and he was completely insufferable in text form. He is someone you definitely could not really know just by knowing him online.

I guess what I'm saying is, when someone says, "We met online," I don't think twice about it, because by the time I'm hearing about it they've already obviously made a success story out of it. But if someone says to me, "I have a relationship with someone online (whom I've never met or only met in extremely limited circumstances)" I admit I am more suspicious of the long-term viability of their relationship than I would be otherwise.

12-08-2007, 10:47 PM	#7
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	I think there's a different stigma to "meeting online" versus getting connected through an online dating service. With the latter, it is assumed you are really only using it as an initial matchmaker, and then you meet in person and begin actually dating. However, if you say you "met" online, that implies a relationship that developed significantly through text long before ever meeting. It absolutely can work out, of course--I know of several marriages, myself--but you have to admit that there are aspects of personality that one can sometimes miss when only text is involved. It all depends on how well each person translates themselves into written word. I had a friend, for example, that I had to simply stop emailing and only ever contact on the phone, because for reasons hard to pinpoint, his emails always came off stilted, arrogant, and downright rude when no offense was ever meant. Other friends agreed with me; he just didn't know how to express himself the same way he did when he talked, and he was completely insufferable in text form. He is someone you definitely could not really know just by knowing him online. I guess what I'm saying is, when someone says, "We met online," I don't think twice about it, because by the time I'm hearing about it they've already obviously made a success story out of it. But if someone says to me, "I have a relationship with someone online (whom I've never met or only met in extremely limited circumstances)" I admit I am more suspicious of the long-term viability of their relationship than I would be otherwise.