[DanaC]

There is a difference between realsing you have done something wrong and experiencing guilt or remorse for it - and carrying that guilt around with you into the future.

I see no point in carrying around guilt for past deeds, or regrets for things done or not done.

Guilt, regret, remorse - these things are useful in small doses. Realising something you did or failed to do had consequences, accepting your responsibility and learning from that experience is useful. Intermittently beating yourself up for something you did a decade ago is not useful.

There is also a difference between being kind to your younger self, and denying your younger self's wrongs. Recognising that you did what you did because of the entire surrounding context is useful. The you that you are now might not do that, if faced with the same choice today. Undoubtedly, that is because the you that you are today, has learned from the experiences of that time and others. The flipside to that, is that the you of that time had not yet learned those lessons. You cannot look back from your 30s and 40s to yourself at 18 and apply the person you are to the person you were.

This goes for all growth and development, but it is particularly acute I think, when looking back at teens and early 20s. It's so easy to forgive our 6 year old self their ignorance. We seem to struggle to be so kind to our teenage and young adult selves. But they are the ones that need the most understanding and forgiveness.