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A commemorative event can be held at any time.
For my brother we had a humanist service, where friends and relatives spoke, at the time of his cremation. And then quite a while later we scattered his ashes in his favourite place and that too, involved friends and relatives, and had a very different vibe to it.
I do understand you not wanting to push Shelby or Spencer, but you must look after yourself and what you need, too.
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Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of 
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