[footfootfoot]

This morning I sat down at the breakfast table and discovered that there was honey all over the chair as my newly washed jeans stuck in place when I tried to shift position.

I got up and said in a semi loud voice, “I am not happy.” Of course, I immediately thought of the joke about the guy who rear-ends a midget and I told it to the wife and kids while they were eating breakfast.

Me: My (imaginary) friend, Jim Helm, was driving his car to work and he rear-ended a guy. They guy stops his car, gets out and Jim sees that the guy is a dwarf. The guy marches up to Jim’s car, looking furious. Enraged, he shouts “I AM NOT HAPPY.” Jim looks at him and asks, “OK, then which one are you?”

Wife: (Mostly to the children as she knows I am a lost cause) We shouldn’t mock the afflicted. It isn’t easy to be a dwarf.

Me: (Thinking) Oh I don’t know, I bet it comes naturally to them…

I can see the wheels turning in son’s head, but still no light coming on.

Wife: In the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves the dwarves all have names, one of them is named Happy, at least in the Disney version.

Me: They had names like, Happy, Goofy, Sneezey, Sleepy, Grumpy…

Daughter: (helpfully) Maybe then the one your friend hit was Grumpy.