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Old 01-18-2004, 12:12 AM   #37
lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,773
The Army found they had too many officers and NCOs and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any member who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a grizzly old Master Sergeant who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied "from the tip of my penis to my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider; explaining about the nice cheques the previous two officers had received. But the old Sarge insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Sergeant to "drop 'em", which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Sarge's penis and began to work back.

"My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

The old Sergeant calmly replied....... "Vietnam."
wolf eht htiw og

"Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island

High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis
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