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Old 07-22-2010, 05:28 PM   #86
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pooka View Post

LJ... I sincerely hope this proves an opportunity to create a deeper bond between you and Jinx. I wish you guys the best.
thanks, Pooka.

Today, my mind is thinking of how I neglected that bond. If I get another chance, you can bet your life I will not make the same mistake again. This has become a larger issue than the eating. The eating may be at the root of it, it may be a collateral result of something else. I don't really know. Standing outside of the circle gives you a much clearer perspective on things.

I AM a loving husband. I expressed my love constantly in words. I believed what I was saying too. I was telling myself that everything I was doing, I was doing to keep them all happy. But I was doing it the same way I was eating to be happy. Satisfying the momentary desires at the cost of the future. I feel love. I say I love. My actions, however, were not expressing love. I can see that very clearly now. In the end, it was hurtful, not loving. Ask me if i regret that.

I'm sorry to be maudlin, but I'm in a glass case of emotion here.
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
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