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Old 12-22-2007, 09:31 PM   #1554
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
Special Rules

For anyone who has commuted on I-95 anywhere between Philadelphia and the Maryland line has to go by a special issue Driver's handbook which was written to include the following guidance:

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident I-95 driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you; the space will just be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive onto I-95 from the on ramp, the less of a chance you have of getting hit.

4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop to enter I-95. No-one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. With no fault insurance, the other operator has nothing to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; they are given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in during rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. I-95 between Philadelphia and the Maryland line is the home of high-speed slalom-driving, thanks to the Pennsylvania & Delaware Departments of Transportation, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.

12. It is tradition along that corridor to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move over within three milliseconds of passing another car.

13. When passing someone who is driving the speed limit, it is required that you show him your middle finger.

14. Never blow your horn at a driver who is using a cell phone, it may interrupt the conversation.
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