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Old 07-05-2012, 07:51 AM   #8105
DanaC
We have to go back, Kate!
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
Yeah, I'd avoid one to one meets for now. You're strong, but that doesn't mean you aren't vulnerable to his emotional blackmail. He's had years to hone his tactics and find your weak spots. Don't give him the opportunity to use that.

As much as you want this done with, and as much as you want things friendly (if that ship has not already sailed, as I suspect it might have) you also need to protect yourself. Not just from the financial loss, or even the potential for actual harm, but also from the emotional impact he is able to have on you. Don't underestimate the amount of pull he could still exert if you're at a low ebb. He's clearly more than willing to try and use that to his own financial advantage and to your, and the kids', financial disadvantage. Waving the difficulties "you'd" be bringing on your children by doing this is about as shitty as it goes. Like a spoilt child who's suddenly been told 'no' and is trying to wheedle and tantrum by turns.

Like a smoker clearing their house of all cigarettes and ashtrays when they're giving up, don't put anything in your way to trip yourself up.
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