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I agree. I would say that all interactions for the foreseeable future should be done through your wife, since he is her son after all. The next time Grandma needs to go to the doctor, your wife needs to call her son and ask which of them wants to do it. It's not cool for them to have never mentioned their grievances until now, and I suspect their opinion will change when they are forced to see how much work you've been doing that they've been taking for granted.
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