[Urbane Guerrilla]

An old buddy of mine, Jim, once told me the tale of a buddy of his, so this is a FOAF story:

Nights in the South Dakota countryside are very very black if there's no moon. Jim's buddy and some companions were having a kegger out on a ranch. This was a ranch with modern conveniences like electric fences to keep the cattle in with. Electric fences on South Dakota ranches in the seventies were often powered by twelve-volt batteries with a gizmo to switch the fence on and off periodically to save current, so you had an on-again-off-again DC circuit.

They were getting towards the bottom of the keg as late afternoon became evening became night. The beer had its usual effect on everybody, and they were dealing with it by going outside and very informally pissing, availing themselves of fenceposts, and everything came out all right. They got drunker as the night got blacker.

Our Hero (no name given by Jim) fumbled his way outside along a fenceline, unzipped, and let fly. For a few moments, all was well. Then the only electric fence in the immediate area switched on.

Twelve volts or so of direct current locked him open and apparently did not throw him clear. He stayed there until pretty much drained.

A new and undesired understanding of the phrase "piss and moan," I suppose.

So don't do this.