[xoxoxoBruce]

There's good news tonight... for all you blind people reading this, word comes from pornhub they are writing and recording descriptive sound tracks for their more popular video porn.
I'm picturing Mystery Science Theater here.

Huffington says...

Fortunately, Pornhub.com has just created a new category of porn called “described video” that adds special narration to already-existing porn films.
The female narrators fill in the details for visually impaired viewers, describing the setting, the actors, what positions they are in and even their outfits.
For instance, one video begins: “A white woman in a cheap-looking red power suit sits next to a tall, white, lanky, middle-aged man with brown hair, a white shirt, a gray suit and a red-striped tie.”
Trust us, it gets slightly more exciting after that.
So far, Pornhub.com offers 50 enhanced-audio videos made from the site’s top-viewed straight, female-friendly, gay and bi videos.

“It’s our way of giving back, and we’re excited to hear what people think,” Price told The Huffington Post by email. “With over 60 million people visiting our site each day, we did feel it important to start to include this type of more-accessible content on our platform though, given the relative ambiguity of the concept and the sheer number of people who are visually impaired around the world.”
Adding descriptions to existing videos was a challenge, Price said. “We put a considerable amount of effort into having the scripts for the added audio tracks be descriptive and enticing, to add enough while leaving enough space for the video’s original audio and having everything match up just right,” he explained.

Where's Howard Cosell when you need him. I wonder what happened to Gary Owens? Damn, he's dead too. Bob Uecker is right out.