Seeing others bitch and moan and pull attitude does NOT help me when I am stressed.. I am sure its not helping here either.
I will not use the word depressed, because I find it overused, and many times has a huge stigma attached.
You had a bad day, or week... your mind and body started to deal with it, by crying and causing a reaction even you ( most times we do not see our own symptoms) could see.
I had a week like that last spring. I lost my mind, crying, and I cut my hair. BTW that was BIG for me, BUT it was the one thing I could control.
My suggestion is try finding one thing you CAN control each day and do that, also if the tears come, let them... they help.
Getting an animal is great, however if can cause MORE stress without trying to... what if you can't pay for food/vet, what if its a psycho kitty/dog? etc... It is a huge undertaking and one you should consider when you are feeling more like yourself. In the mean time, maybe volunteer at a shelter (with the healthy critters at least at first!!) and most definitely at a no kill place.
Perhaps join a gym, or take a a long walk (find a senior/sick person that has a dog that needs a walk and talk to it as you walk) Exercise seemed to help me, and I am not talking 2-4 hours, I am talking a 20 min walk.. something I could control and quite honestly NOT fail at. I have 2 feet and a heart beat, walking is something I can do
It is good that you put all your knives and pills away HOWEVER!!!!! it bothers me that you even had to mention that. Is there anyone in your circle of friends and family that you can have a heart to heart with? If not, is there anyone here, hell.... PM me I will chat with you. This is a huge warning to me that this could be more that just stress.... and most likely has been building for a while. These feelings are more often thought by people, then most people want to admit, it does NOT mean you are going to self harm or commit suicide, it means you want an easy way out for the issues at hand. The fact that you put them in a closet means you do not want to take an easy way out, and DO want to find the cause, fix it, and move on. GOOD FOR YOU!
I am very serious, PM me if you would like to, talk on here, talk to a friend, talk to a dog/plant/couch whatever... and if you feel you can not do it with those talks, then maybe find a counselor, a Dr, a therapist or someone who has training for more of your specific stressors.