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BigV · 11-28-2011, 11:24 PM

Aliantha--

It seems clear to me, and to your sons as well, what is going on here. It seems to me that their Dad is putting his desires ahead of the desires of his sons. Or, you can use the phrase "best interests" if you prefer.

Sometimes that's warranted, I think it's a big and easy mistake to spoil a child. I don't say yes to everything. So, sometimes SonofV doesn't get his way. However, I do keep as my guiding principle "What is in his best interest?" Changing plans, established agreed upon plans like this very close to the action date can certainly be a problem. But to me, the greater harm is by putting them in the middle. That's straight bullshit.

They're kids. They do get to have some say in things, but making them choose, or putting them in a position where they have to say yes to one and no to another. Being in a position where the would feel responsible for letting down one of the parents is bad enough, but for a parent to put them there is inexcusable.

Pick me! says one

bullshit.

Who's the decider? Who's the adult?

I have had my share of that same shit and I hate it.

11-28-2011, 11:24 PM	#401
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Aliantha-- It seems clear to me, and to your sons as well, what is going on here. It seems to me that their Dad is putting his desires ahead of the desires of his sons. Or, you can use the phrase "best interests" if you prefer. Sometimes that's warranted, I think it's a big and easy mistake to spoil a child. I don't say yes to everything. So, sometimes SonofV doesn't get his way. However, I do keep as my guiding principle "What is in his best interest?" Changing plans, established agreed upon plans like this very close to the action date can certainly be a problem. But to me, the greater harm is by putting them in the middle. That's straight bullshit. They're kids. They do get to have some say in things, but making them choose, or putting them in a position where they have to say yes to one and no to another. Being in a position where the would feel responsible for letting down one of the parents is bad enough, but for a parent to put them there is inexcusable. Pick me! says one bullshit. Who's the decider? Who's the adult? I have had my share of that same shit and I hate it. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.