[Trilby]

may I ask---who told you 'if people really knew you they wouldn't like you' --?

being alone and happy= Merry Recluse

being alone and isolating=depression of some sort; rumination; fear; or, for me -- sometimes it's pure laziness. People can be so exhausting; even people I really like drain me.

I'm a sponge and I soak up other people's vibes and feelings but I'm learning how NOT to do that so much and eventually will stop altogether.

We've all been hurt in some way. You have to KEEP GETTING BACK UP. And if nothing changes, nothing changes. Force yourself to do one thing you don't want to do, just for exercise----go to the family gathering; go to the workplace lunch; go to the mall with someone....little by little things will get better. but it's a process----not an event!

I used to want Goddess to come to me in burning bush (ok, opened myself up for lots of jokes there) and Speak to Me. Well, turns out, she speaks thru others so I have to be around others-----but I DON"T have to be around others who suck. I choose warm and fuzzy.

I had a sponsor who was ex-military and schooled in interrogation techniques. She's a lawyer AND an RN. She takes on cases for state foster children and sees more shit in a day than I do in a year. She's a good woman, but she's not warm and fuzzy. I need warm and fuzzy; so, she's no longer my sponsor. I have a really super SWEET woman now. A lot of it is just KNOWING what you NEED. warm and fuzzy is okay. so is Drill Sargant----just not for me.