[plthijinx]

do it. i consider myself very lucky in the relationship that i have with my ex wife. you haven't posted much, maybe lurked a lot, i dunno. point is, yes, this is an incredibly difficult time for you. trust me on this one though, it could be worse. in other ways you could even possibly imagine. and i mean outside of what you're going through now. i thought my divorce was the worst time of my life. i was wrong.

you've got him to a point to where he feels threatened. aka the clause that says the settlement is dead if he backs out. that's a control issue. this isn't 50 shades of grey. this is a divorce. i agree with you that the clause has to stay.

let me rephrase that. it MUST stay. i believed my ex when she said that a given court was on yada yada date and that it was only preliminary and i didn't need to show up. so i didn't. guess what. i was divorced that day and didn't even know it. i got duped.

that was then, this is now. hindsight 20/20 yeah, if i'd of had a lawyer then things would be different. BUT, point here is this, get through the divorce and don't let him control you. even while you're still there, if he tries to talk to you about negotiations then put a stop to it right there. tell him to talk to his lawyer so that his lawyer can talk to yours. difficult as it may seem, it's what really needs to happen. so so sorry you're having to go through this.