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anonymous · 01-30-2012, 02:03 PM

Thank you.

I might be overreacting. I don't know. I never know when it's time to throw in the towel. I don't seem to have any grasp whatsoever on what a relationship is supposed to be. I've been so pushed around, stepped on, disregarded. I shield myself then when I peek over the shield and start to lower it I get shot in the face. Maybe I'm just scared. Maybe I have no faith. Maybe I'm right and should follow my gut. When do you know, how do you know? I feel like I already took the leap of faith but i want to slide back under the door, because as these things go, it doesn't seem to be moving as I want it to. But if I'm wrong, what have I thrown away? Is it really possible that the past relationships could do this much damage, so much so that you have no idea on earth if you're right or wrong, and don't know if you want to risk it, even with the chance that it really is true and good?

I can push the world away, but when I try to stop pushing I get hurt. So why wouldn't I keep pushing it all away? My track record is crap. History of same-sex friendships and opposite-sex relationships where I am taken advantage of, and used. I can't trust myself.

01-30-2012, 02:03 PM	#7510
anonymous Operations Operative Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: in hiding Posts: 578	Thank you. I might be overreacting. I don't know. I never know when it's time to throw in the towel. I don't seem to have any grasp whatsoever on what a relationship is supposed to be. I've been so pushed around, stepped on, disregarded. I shield myself then when I peek over the shield and start to lower it I get shot in the face. Maybe I'm just scared. Maybe I have no faith. Maybe I'm right and should follow my gut. When do you know, how do you know? I feel like I already took the leap of faith but i want to slide back under the door, because as these things go, it doesn't seem to be moving as I want it to. But if I'm wrong, what have I thrown away? Is it really possible that the past relationships could do this much damage, so much so that you have no idea on earth if you're right or wrong, and don't know if you want to risk it, even with the chance that it really is true and good? I can push the world away, but when I try to stop pushing I get hurt. So why wouldn't I keep pushing it all away? My track record is crap. History of same-sex friendships and opposite-sex relationships where I am taken advantage of, and used. I can't trust myself.