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Gravdigr · 06-04-2017, 12:17 PM

Brand new microwave.

1100 watts.

Big warning inside the door "ooooooowweeeee this here is a 1100 watt motherfucking monster. be careful! this cooks like nothing you have ever seen. you'll burn food. you'll get tumors. birth defects out the wazoo. beware this awesome motherfucker."

Now this morning I woke up, refreshed from a good night's sleep, and thought to myself "Self (that's what I call myself), wouldn't a nice, juicy, thick ground venison steak and some homemade baked beans be just delish this fine day?"

And then the microwave said FUCK YOU!

A simple operation; put the frozen meat in the microwave, press defrost, press 1, then 5, for "pounds of food". Wait, whut? Just "food"? 1.5 pounds of frozen ground venison took 3 minutes and change on the Old & Busted.

On the new, technological marvel microwave?

15+ minutes!!!!

Ok, Self, you read the buttons wrong. You misunderstood.

Read the fucking manual.

The manual tells me to do exactly what I did. It also directs me to "stop the process every few minutes, and remove the defrosted portion."

I already hate this motherfucking turd. It's not been in the house for 48 hours. And I hate this fucking thing.

And there has not been a single button pressed successfully on the first try by anyone in the house.

To open the door, ya press a big damn button by the door. The spring behind the button has more pressure than the microwave weighs, so the microwave moves every goddamn time you try to open the door. Two hands to open the door.

Aren't things supposed to get easier/better/more with each generation of technology?

Man. There ain't nothing like failure first goddamn thing in ya day to set the mood.

Fuck you, too, Panasonic. Your microwave is a piece of shit. You better stretch that $150 bucks long and far. Because you ain't EVER gonna see any more of my money.

06-04-2017, 12:17 PM	#1519
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Fuck you Panasonic Brand new microwave. 1100 watts. Big warning inside the door "ooooooowweeeee this here is a 1100 watt motherfucking monster. be careful! this cooks like nothing you have ever seen. you'll burn food. you'll get tumors. birth defects out the wazoo. beware this awesome motherfucker." Now this morning I woke up, refreshed from a good night's sleep, and thought to myself "Self (that's what I call myself), wouldn't a nice, juicy, thick ground venison steak and some homemade baked beans be just delish this fine day?" And then the microwave said FUCK YOU! A simple operation; put the frozen meat in the microwave, press defrost, press 1, then 5, for "pounds of food". Wait, whut? Just "food"? 1.5 pounds of frozen ground venison took 3 minutes and change on the Old & Busted. On the new, technological marvel microwave? 15+ minutes!!!! Ok, Self, you read the buttons wrong. You misunderstood. Read the fucking manual. The manual tells me to do exactly what I did. It also directs me to "stop the process every few minutes, and remove the defrosted portion." I already hate this motherfucking turd. It's not been in the house for 48 hours. And I hate this fucking thing. And there has not been a single button pressed successfully on the first try by anyone in the house. To open the door, ya press a big damn button by the door. The spring behind the button has more pressure than the microwave weighs, so the microwave moves every goddamn time you try to open the door. Two hands to open the door. Aren't things supposed to get easier/better/more with each generation of technology? Man. There ain't nothing like failure first goddamn thing in ya day to set the mood. Fuck you, too, Panasonic. Your microwave is a piece of shit. You better stretch that $150 bucks long and far. Because you ain't EVER gonna see any more of my money. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.