The Cellar - View Single Post - September 26th, 2016: Painful Erection Spider

Snakeadelic · 10-04-2016, 07:47 AM

As for other spiders we have here at the edge of the Rockies (the Great Plains basin starts like 2 hours east of us and goes all the way to the Mississippi River if my memory serves), it's horrible. Hobo spiders, a ground-runner that likes to nest in the rock beds around here that everyone lets their toddlers play in. Hobo spiders of the sort we get aren't fatally venomous, but they are irritable, aggressive, and do deliver a highly painful bite.

And we have black widows. At the last place I lived, like 15 miles north of where I am now, one day the neighbor kids came to get me all freaked out about this giant spider that had webbed up one of their little sandbox buckets. I went to take a look and holy crap it was the biggest widow I've ever seen! The kids were about to totally flip until I told them I could show them a super-cool anti-spider trick if their mom had any hairspray. They loved it, but the spider did not--the hairspray plates their breathing apparatus, which is a set of tiny pores along the butt end, and that enormous beast of a spider was done for in about 17 seconds.

And NEVER believe anyone who says there are no brown recluses in Montana! All the pest controllers around here seem to think we don't, but every autumn I end up going 2 rounds bare-knuckle with one trying to sneak into my downstairs neighbor's apartment. Management always orders in the repellent sprayers (they use a citrus-based spray rather than poison, and it does work) when I tell them I've seen one. My neighbor is highly vulnerable to fiddleback venom, having nearly died after taking 2 bites in 1 night down in Arizona some years back, so we operate with extreme prejudice on brown recluses!

And then there's the "barn spider". Don't know the proper name, don't wanna. I was asleep on the couch in the old mobile home I used to live in some years back, waking up every time the wood stove started running out of fuel (it was inadequate but also our only source of heat). I woke up one time and the stove was fine...but out from under the edge of the hearth LUMBERED this spider about the size of a freakin' mouse! Headed right toward me, and it took 4 dead-on hits from my sweetie's size 10 hiking boot to kill. Just the memory makes me wanna Kermit flail.

10-04-2016, 07:47 AM	#27
Snakeadelic Banned Join Date: May 2015 Posts: 660	As for other spiders we have here at the edge of the Rockies (the Great Plains basin starts like 2 hours east of us and goes all the way to the Mississippi River if my memory serves), it's horrible. Hobo spiders, a ground-runner that likes to nest in the rock beds around here that everyone lets their toddlers play in. Hobo spiders of the sort we get aren't fatally venomous, but they are irritable, aggressive, and do deliver a highly painful bite. And we have black widows. At the last place I lived, like 15 miles north of where I am now, one day the neighbor kids came to get me all freaked out about this giant spider that had webbed up one of their little sandbox buckets. I went to take a look and holy crap it was the biggest widow I've ever seen! The kids were about to totally flip until I told them I could show them a super-cool anti-spider trick if their mom had any hairspray. They loved it, but the spider did not--the hairspray plates their breathing apparatus, which is a set of tiny pores along the butt end, and that enormous beast of a spider was done for in about 17 seconds. And NEVER believe anyone who says there are no brown recluses in Montana! All the pest controllers around here seem to think we don't, but every autumn I end up going 2 rounds bare-knuckle with one trying to sneak into my downstairs neighbor's apartment. Management always orders in the repellent sprayers (they use a citrus-based spray rather than poison, and it does work) when I tell them I've seen one. My neighbor is highly vulnerable to fiddleback venom, having nearly died after taking 2 bites in 1 night down in Arizona some years back, so we operate with extreme prejudice on brown recluses! And then there's the "barn spider". Don't know the proper name, don't wanna. I was asleep on the couch in the old mobile home I used to live in some years back, waking up every time the wood stove started running out of fuel (it was inadequate but also our only source of heat). I woke up one time and the stove was fine...but out from under the edge of the hearth LUMBERED this spider about the size of a freakin' mouse! Headed right toward me, and it took 4 dead-on hits from my sweetie's size 10 hiking boot to kill. Just the memory makes me wanna Kermit flail.