Quote:
Originally Posted by Mockingbird
My other mode of operation is eliminating whatever is pissing me off in a flurry of a billion fists. If whoever I'm talking to doesn't understand a nice, rational approach, then they will understand sudden and unprovoked violence. This is a natural law.
|
This made me LOL. You are right, this is universally understood, though it usually does nothing to promote any further relationship with the person. Sometimes that can be a good thing.
I liked BigV's approach to the problem. Or, you could wait until you have another opening like the "well, at least you sleep in a bed" comment. You could respond that at any time, he is free to move out and get his own bed, you aren't responsible for supplying that for him. Though I suspect he would just clam up.
Still, BigV's method of bringing the dirty laundry to the table to fold in front of him is a good one. He can help fold it, or you can fold it however you want.
We had Hubby's sis and her husband living with us for months. 9 and 7 months. We handled it badly, because we didn't want to upset his Sis, she wasn't prodding her hubby enough and it was just a general all around mess. I finally hit the wall and gave them an out-date. Then, when they moved out and still let it all fall apart, I didn't let them move back in.
Tough.
I know it is hard, you want to help, but helping him is hurting you. Your good deed may be the ruin of this friendship...but if it is...then I can't think the friendship was that strong to begin with.
Help him on his way out your door. It is time for him to pull on his big-boy panties and do it on his own.