This had to be broken up due to size limits... my apologies in advance.
So, my email this holiday weekend has included a number of snippings from various posts here. That's disappointing, because it's compelled me to actually take time and respond.
Tony said the following: "The fact that it's supposed to be some deep dark secret says much more: it's pathetic game-playing". Those are some big words. Care to back them up?
You can't (they're opinion). The <b>fact</b> of the matter is that I chose to keep the details private out of respect for you and sycamore. I'm not sure about sycamore, but my respect for you was obviously very misplaced. So I'm opening it up, for everyone to see.
<b>The Eye</b>
The name calling with sycamore in the "Things you should do." thread started with my comment that, if you use standard viewing options, is at the very bottom of page 15. In it I stated: "I would think your number one goal, however, would be plastic surgery, you ugly bag of slop." He responded with "I'm there as soon as you get a new eye and a sparkling personality...", which is the <b>first</b> eye comment. I posted a frownie a few minutes later, one which I thought would convey humor (as I have previously stated in the aforementioned thread). It starts again a few posts later, when ladysycamore remarks "Not for all the money in the world!" regarding the idea of engaging in sexual intercourse with Ron Jeremy. I responded "And yet, you're with sycamore." - to which sycamore responded "And yet, Jenni's with you." Okay, nothing wrong here yet. We go back and forth for a little while longer. I said "And that being the case, earns the title 'Most Tolerant Person In The World'. (Rho gets the "Poorest Taste In The World" award. :P )", he said "That, or she's blinder than you.", making the <b>second</b> eye comment. I responded "I would think that would be quite obvious. (Incidentally, I'm the only one out of the four of us that doesn't wear glasses and has 20/10 vision. You fucking nerds.)" and he said "I may be a nerd, but how is your depth perception and peripheral vision?", making the <b>third</b> eye comment. We should note that up until this point, I haven't said anything about the eye.
My response is then "My peripheral vision is quite good. The depth perception obviously is non-existant. Neither have kept me from having a job while you were collecting unemployment these past few years. (What's it like to be a burden to the state?)", which, to me, continued along the same lines of "playful namecalling" that had been thriving in this thread. Nothing more of the eye is said until lumberjim says (on the fifth post on page 18) "no fair picking on a physical malady". I addressed this comment as follows:
Quote:
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As far as picking on me/joking about the eye... I would agree that it's a bit out of line, as far as the "in good nature" 'fighting' that sycamore and I do. Making fun of someone for something they can't change is... well, out of line. I call sycamore "ugly" or "stupid", neither of which he is. I don't joke about his weight either, 'cause it doesn't seem fun to make fun of him for an actual fault. It's definitely disappointing that he's not more creative in finding things to joke about, but I'm not losing any sleep over it either. Nothing anyone on the Cellar says about me actually bothers me. I've heard it all before. No matter what your insult or joke about my eye, someone has done worse. Like I said, it's more a disappointment than anything else.
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sycamore's response is:
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Of course, it usually helps if you tell someone that you'd prefer them not to joke about something...especially when they've laughed with you about it before. And of course, had he asked me to refrain, I would have been more than happy to...I would have even removed the posts with references to it.
Talk about disappointing...
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We then continue like so:
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Originally posted by dave
Like I said, it's not a huge deal. It's kind of like not winning the lottery.
I didn't care to make a big deal of it, 'cause it wasn't a big deal. You're a cool enough dude that it doesn't make our friendship a negative thing for me. Re-introducing me to Reverend Horton Heat (I hadn't really listened to much by him since I first heard of him when Toadies broke out), feeding me Philly cheesesteaks... there was something else cool about our friendship, wasn't there? Oh yeah, you're ugly.
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Quote:
Originally posted by sycamore
But enough of a deal to put it out here on Cellar?
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Quote:
Originally posted by sycamore
Well, the 2 times I was on unemployment were not due to any fault of my own (that I know of)--both were unavoidable situations. There wasn't anything I could do to change them (other than look for new jobs, which I did).
So, how would you explain the first comment? Was it said to "teach me a lesson", b/c I gave you shit about your eye?
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At this point, I call him to task, because I am getting tired of this argument. It wasn't a big deal to me, and it apparently wasn't a big deal to him until I said something about <b>my own eye</b>.
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Originally posted by dave
No, I was just fucking around with you. If I wanted to "teach you a lesson", I would have brought it up a long time ago. Like I said, it's not a huge deal.
I do consider being unemployed a situation that can generally be remedied if you work hard enough. I know that you were looking for a job, and it's all good. I didn't write it angry or anything. But "looking for a job" and "being so desperate to work that I was begging Steve's Prince of Steaks to hire me at minimum wage so I could have a paycheck" are two different things. I'm not saying you were a lazy bastard, but I seriously doubt you were scouring the city looking for any place that would take you. You were too busy posting on the Cellar. 
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I messaged sycamore that night on AOL Instant Messenger, trying to get a sense of whether or not he was actually upset. I asked him as much. He said something to the effect of "I think it was pretty shitty to bring it up on the Cellar". I asked "What, the eye thing?" and he said "Yes." Unfortunately, this is the only part of the whole ordeal that I don't have logs of, but the words were very close to what I have posted, if not exactly the same. I then indicated that I was only fucking around. "I'm glad you think this is funny" was his response. I told him that I was sorry that it upset him; he got offline without saying another word.
Now, unfortunately, I have not exchanged many words with sycamore since the incident, but I can only be left to believe that he's referring to my post in which I addressed lumberjim's comment (seeing as he said "Yes" when I asked if he was referring to the eye thing). As I have clearly demonstrated above, he first brought up my eye, and made <b>three</b> separate "mean-spirited" comments about it. I say "mean-spirited" because they weren't inquisitive like Bruce's. I don't mean to imply that he meant to hurt my feelings, only that the nature of the comments is not productive.
The next morning, the following has been posted by Undertoad in the same thread:
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Originally posted by Undertoad
David, under the thread "things you should do" here is the thing you should not do:
You should not playfully start insulting people as a way of cementing your friendship if you have an invisible line they cannot cross.
This is inconsiderate at best, game-playing at worst. Suddenly you go from happily taunting to being hurt, and there is no way to know where that line is.
Either you have to drop the practice of insulting people as a way of being close to them, or you have to accept *anything* they hand back to you.
And by the way, just for future reference, I don't play that particular game; if you insult me as a way of getting closer to me, I will probably react poorly.
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I felt he was <b>way</b> off base, and responded as follows: