too much plaid. you need a nice leather kilt, like this:
http://www.utilikilts.com/index.php?page_id=33
Quote from the page: "Why are you even here? The Leather is too much Utilikilt for you. Heck, it’s too much Utilikilt for men who are twice or perhaps even three times the man you are.. . .This baby isn’t for the meek. The Leather is for real men. Big men. Men who aren’t afraid to wear large swaths of cow around their waists. Men who take secret pleasure in making vegans and bovine activists cry."