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Glad you shared, Momma. But please continue to seek help. Talking to a stranger on the phone may let a clinic direct you to the best person on their staff to help you - please reconsider it. Or go to your primary care provider as a starting place and ask for a referral to whoever he/she thinks best. It's hard to generate the energy to research available options when you're depressed, so start with the most available, quickest access.
And - no one should be making you feel guilty if one of the kids sees you crying. The 'people who care about the kids' should step up and babysit to give you the chance to go to appointments and get help, and to generally help you out.
{{{hugs}}}, Momma. Please go and get the help you need, and keep sharing.
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The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi 
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