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Crying tonight. This is how I feel all the time. the stupidest things.
It's senior night for Thor for Water Polo and Marching Band his week. These aren't even making me cry yet. I know beest so wanted to see him through high school and wanted to be there. It was so against the odds by two years but he fought like hell to try and make it. But he isn't here when I want to discuss the best way to change from incandescent to LED bulbs in the bathrooms and he isn't here to do lunches when I'm pooped, or to meet with Thunderboy's new therapist... he doesn't walk in to the bleachers in his work clothes just in time to catch the start of the Friday night game in local Water Polo tournaments.......
he just isn't here and so much of me depended on that, I've found....
I'm contemplating printing and taking a life-sized cut-out of beest to the senior nights ..... but not really. The Spanish Inquisition at the "goodbye" used my lifetime quota of irreverence.....
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
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