Do you have a front lawn? (5 points) Do you mow it yourself? (5)
No and no
Were you first in your class at school (10), college or university? (10 for first within your subject area, 20 for whole institution))
hahahahaha
Have you played or do you play D&D? (10)
(Add one point for each level of each character that you have played in the last year, + 2d4-1 if you have the dice to roll with)
I know what D&D stands for, but that's about it
Is M.C. Escher your favourite M.C.? (10)
Yes! 10 points
Do you like Earl Grey tea? (5)
Yes, 5 points
Do you deliberately spin the wheels of your car? (When I was younger -5 points, occasionally -10 points, frequently -15 points, in front of police -20 points)
No car, no wheels to spin
Are your action figures Cherry? (five points for each pristine action figure in your possession)
Do Barbies count? I have like 8 of 'em. I can haz 40 points?
Stephen Hawking's in my library (own it = 10 points, read it = 10 points, understood it = 100 points)
No
Is your MySpace page all totally pimped out? (give yourself a score out of 20 for the degree of pimpiness of your myspace, facebook, or other social networking site. Since you're white and nerdy, you'll be honest.)
No pimpiness 
How much of Pi do you know? (one point for each digit you know)
3.14, 3 points
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces (10 points for braces)
None
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise (0.1 points multiplied by the percentage of your sandwiches that you order with mayonnaise)
Club sandwiches should have a little mayo on them, 1 point
I'm a wiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days (Start with 1,000, subtract your best time in seconds at the expert level of minesweeper, divide by 50) (add ten points if you just calculated your score on this question in your head)
Um no
My fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze (0.2 points for each wpm you can type)
6 points
There's no killer app I haven't run (1 point for every app downloaded to your phone)
0 points
At Pascal, well I'm number one (can program in Pascal = 20 points)
No
Do vector calculus just for fun (can do vector calculus = 20 points)
There are different kinds of calculus?! 
I ain't got a gat, but I got a soldering gun (-5 points for every gun you own, gain five points for every soldering gun you own)
There's a soldering gun in the house, but it's not mine, I swear
Happy Days is my favorite theme song (is it? 10 points!)
Well...no
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong (rate your pingers ability out of 10)
Probably 2 points
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on (rate your trivia prowess out of 10)
7 points
I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon (Skilled at java? 10 points! And one point per Klingon word known)
I just learned a line of javascript this week! I'm so excited.
Have you ridden (5 points) or owned (20 points) a segway?
No
Do you collect comics? (one point for each comic in your possession)
I have a few Spiderman comics from the 70s, four I think? 4 points
The pens in my pocket, I must protect them (one point for each pen in your pocket on an average workday, 10 points for a pocket protector)
I'm lucky if the one on my desk doesn't get stolen
Is your keyboard ergonomic? (5 points)
No
Do you shop online for deals on some writable media? (10)
What?
I edit Wikipedia (have made minor changes = 1 point, have made substantial changes = 5 points, have created a new article = 10 points)
No
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you R-O-T-F-L-O-L
(I'm getting bored with this points thing. Score out of ten in this regard, okay?)
I only know "it's just a flesh wound!" .1 points?
I got a business doing websites (10 points)
Even made a homepage for my dog, (10 points)
I have made money doing work on websites, 2 points?
I got myself a fanny pack (5)
No
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
Pop, pop - hope no one sees me gettin' freaky (you weirdo!)
I was in AV club and glee club
And even the chess team (10 points for each)
I was on the chess team! 3 and 1/3 points?
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was "Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?"
(Five points for having an opinion on this, 10 for being unable to decide)
I like both, 10 points
Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Fair (two points per visit in the last year)
Haven't been yet
Got my name on my underwear (That's a 10)
Mmmm, no
TOTAL: 93.433333 points