The obvious solution is booze and drugs until there's no place to go but up or you die. I wouldn't recommend that solution though, it's a lot tougher than it sounds.
OK, it sounds like you were with this guy for a short time....a year, two tops. And you're 35. No previous boy friends or at least none you were serious enough about, to be traumatized about breaking up with them?
So this is the first time you thought seriously about marriage and commitment?
Since you two had a number of issues and friction points that required a big effort to hurtle, why this guy? What did he bring to the table the others didn't? Or did you suddenly realize you're 35 and better settle down with somebody before it's too late and you end up an old maid?
With all the strife this relationship has brought you, I'm trying to figure out what you feel you are losing? What could he give you that someone else could not or you could get on your own? I think the key is to figure that out and then try to figure out how to get it without him.
Unless all you are feeling is failure, after trying so hard, perhaps for the first time, and coming up empty. Do you not want to be with your friends because you're embarrassed about failing. Remember that not all relationships work no matter how hard you try. They just weren't meant to be. That's not failure, that's reality, so don't take the blame for it. Failure is trying to force a relationship that you should walk away from, and end up unhappy for 20 or 30 years.
The only guaranteed cure is time, which is that last thing you want to hear, but true. The only thing you can do is try to keep busy, keep yourself amused while time does it's thing. I wish I had a magic bullet, secret potion, but that ain't gonna happen.
Did I mention drugs and booze?
