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Old 01-05-2019, 12:12 PM   #6
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
Thick as two short planks
Sandwich short of a picnic
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Dumber than a box of rocks
Two bricks short of a full load
Tuppence short of a bob.
Not the full shilling.
Dim as a Toc H lamp.
Too daft to come in out of the rain.
Not Firing on all cylinders
Lights are on but nobody's home
Not playing with a full deck
Not the brightest bulb on the porch

Adding:

An ace shy of a straight
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top
Thick as a brick
Dumber than a bag of of hammers
Duller than a bag of wet mice
His cheese done slid off his cracker
Ain't got the sense God gave a dill pickle (you can substitute 'goose' for 'dill pickle')
So dumb he don't know beans from taters
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