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Sheldonrs · 08-21-2014, 09:07 AM

I think I may have posted something about this a while back but some new info has come up.

My parents divorced when I was about 7 years old, around 1967. My father, from what I can remember and what my mother and sisters have told me over the years, he was a gambler, abusive, drinker, jerk.
I'm not even sure the few "memories" I have of him are mine or just what was told to me. The last time I saw him was when I was around 10.
Anyway, when our Mom found out she was dying in 1996, she applied for disabilty since she could no longer work. The state of New Jersey told her she could also collect from her ex' social security since she had been married to him for enough years, even though he had remarried (the woman he had cheated on my Mom with).
We assumed this meant our father had died and made some enquiries.
The state said they could give out any info unless we filled out some forms and paid the fees. Since none of us was that interested, we let it drop.
Periodically I would do some internet searches for an obituary, just to find out how he died, for medical background info. Never found anything until 2010. I did a search again and came across this article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/14/re...Njzo.html?_r=0

Imagine my surprise to find out he was still alive. He'd be 84 now. I never intended to contact him and still don't want to try.

Now for the new development: My sisters received a letter in the mail from some friend of our father named Mary, addressed to both of my sisters with my name mentioned in the letter, asking us to call her because our Father is trying to get in touch with us.
It didn't say why he didn't write to us himself.

My question is: What do you think you would do in these circumstance?

I already told my sisters that, since the Times article points out that there won't be any inheritance, there's no need to contact him.

08-21-2014, 09:07 AM	#1
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	Opinions wanted I think I may have posted something about this a while back but some new info has come up. My parents divorced when I was about 7 years old, around 1967. My father, from what I can remember and what my mother and sisters have told me over the years, he was a gambler, abusive, drinker, jerk. I'm not even sure the few "memories" I have of him are mine or just what was told to me. The last time I saw him was when I was around 10. Anyway, when our Mom found out she was dying in 1996, she applied for disabilty since she could no longer work. The state of New Jersey told her she could also collect from her ex' social security since she had been married to him for enough years, even though he had remarried (the woman he had cheated on my Mom with). We assumed this meant our father had died and made some enquiries. The state said they could give out any info unless we filled out some forms and paid the fees. Since none of us was that interested, we let it drop. Periodically I would do some internet searches for an obituary, just to find out how he died, for medical background info. Never found anything until 2010. I did a search again and came across this article: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/14/re...Njzo.html?_r=0 Imagine my surprise to find out he was still alive. He'd be 84 now. I never intended to contact him and still don't want to try. Now for the new development: My sisters received a letter in the mail from some friend of our father named Mary, addressed to both of my sisters with my name mentioned in the letter, asking us to call her because our Father is trying to get in touch with us. It didn't say why he didn't write to us himself. My question is: What do you think you would do in these circumstance? I already told my sisters that, since the Times article points out that there won't be any inheritance, there's no need to contact him. __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.