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Originally posted by a case study
You know, it's not as easy as you guys might think. Intimacy is a big issue in a relationship, but sex is only a by-product. And if two people love each other....
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You're absolutely right. But, based on juju's description, I'm not getting the impression that there's a lot of love in this marriage. Is it easy to admit that they both made a mistake, and move on? No. Is it difficult to stay together in the situation they're in now? Yes. Life is full of choices between two (or more) rotten options. I have to come down in the "split up" camp. The way I see it, it offers a better long-term situation than continuing with what's going on now.
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I have a question for all of you intellectuals.
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OK, I'll answer even though it wasn't directed at me!
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Do you all believe that the paths of your lives are chosen by genetics?
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No, of course not. But as I am now, I have certain predispositions. I'm somewhat introverted, I like solving problems, I like to take things apart and put them back together, and I have a limited amount of patience for shmoozing and "chit-chat". (As Skunks says, by now it doesn't matter whether it's nature or nurture.) In many ways I'm well-suited for my job as a network administrator/IT jack-of-all-trades. Is that the only job I could have been happy with? No, obviously. But it's equally clear that there are some jobs that would drive me up the wall, that would be "against my nature" if you will. Sales, for example. That doesn't mean I can't CHOOSE to go out and get a sales job. It does mean if I do, I probably won't be very happy.
I'm hetero. I have a pretty strong attraction to women. I've never experienced any desire to try men. Does that mean I couldn't CHOOSE to have a homosexual experience? No. But it does mean I'm not likely to find it as interesting as sex with a woman, and it's not likely that I'd be happy in a situation where I could no longer have sex with a woman.
So yes, people can always choose, but sometimes we make the wrong choice, and sometimes we don't realize it for years, and sometimes the other choice we didn't take was just as bad.