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Old 08-03-2017, 02:10 PM   #1686
DanaC
We have to go back, Kate!
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
Quote:
Originally Posted by glatt View Post
If I am ever wrong, I want people to steer me in the right direction.

Throwing a rope to someone in a hole is recommended and is not the same as throwing a boulder on top of them. I think UT threw a rope, but snake felt like it was a boulder. Who is wrong in that situation? I'd say nobody.

Some people would say you are supposed to climb down into the hole with the person and keep them company, but while I understand where they are coming from, I am skeptical. It might be appreciated, but who does it help?

I don't really see it in terms of right and wrong, but more in terms of usefulness and effectiveness.

If you try throwing a rope and the person in the hole acts like you threw a boulder, then maybe that's the time to just leave them to it.Not in a nasty way - just recognise that the person you are trying to help, clearly doesn't actually want you to help - in that moment they're just venting.

I just don't see much point in pushing it in that situation - the person venting ends up feeling under attack and so does the person trying to help them.

Everybody ends up feeling like a bag of shite and for no gain.
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