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Old 01-23-2004, 10:59 AM   #79
Lady Sidhe
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it....
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Hammond, La.
Posts: 978
Someone sent this to me, and I thought the guys would appreciate it. BTW, be sure to let us know if you actually TRY any of these suggestions *grin*

15 Things to do at Walmart while your wife is taking her sweet ass time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in Housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other
shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the
bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible".

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "Hey! You're out of toilet paper in here!"
My free will...I never leave home without it.

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
-Rita Rudner

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