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Old 03-05-2018, 10:37 PM   #14
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravdigr View Post
Reminds me:

Friend of mine's wife was tying the shoes of their 2 yr old, whilst he was sitting on the edge of the bar in their house.

She turned around for not even two seconds, and off the bar he went. Head first. I was across the room, too far away to do anything. My heart stopped. The kid landed smack on his head, his neck rolled sickeningly to the side, and he piled up on the living room floor. I knew he was dead. I knew I'd just watched a two yr old die.

She picked him up and set him right back up there. Then she saw my (horrified) face.

Then she said, very simply: "They bounce."

Kid didn't even cry. I very nearly did, but the kid was just fine.
Some bounce, some smack.

When SonofV was very small, we visted Costco pretty regularly. As a family we'd divide and conquer the tasks at hand, namely waiting in those insane lines and getting some high-grub-factor-cheap-eats just beyond the checkout counters. This time I was on food detail and Tink was waiting in line to pay for our bulk goods. The floor in Costco was concrete, but polished to a high shine, including the area where the snack bar tables were. These were round fiberglass tables with four arms sprouting from the base topped with little round fiberglass discs big enough to rest your buttocks on while you gorged yourself on polish dogs or slices of pizza the size of a flag folded into a cocked hat.

And we did just that, chow down. The food moved faster than the checkout line so when I was done eating, I turned around on my "disc" and leaned back against the table. SonofV was right next to me and... monkey see, monkey do.

And by do, I mean try. As he turned on the seat and leaned back against the table, it was a clean whiff missing the table completely and doing almost a half rotation before the floor arrested his journey to the center of the earth.

His skull hit the concrete right at that place in the back where there's a little bump... I swear I heard a *click* when he went smack. Then one, two beats as he gets a really, really good breath to energize a scream heard throughout the store. I was moving fast, I might've caught him on the first bounce but not before the blood started. You've had a head wound, right? Not a lot of meat up there, but plenty of blood supply.

Costco ... accident response / cleanup on aisle three / whatever crew was *on it*, and strenuously urged us to let them call an ambulance. They could call, but I asserted myself, we were not going to take a ride in the ambulance that costs $1000 when I could leave now and beat the damn ambulance to the ER.

Which we did, that poor kid has a number of scars on his haid. He was ok and is ok, but I'll never forget the meaty smacksound of his noggin on the concrete. **shivers**
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