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Fargon, that doesn't make you a loser. You are a courageous individual who had the sense and guts to seek help when you felt that was what you had to do, despite how scary that must have been. It is not your fault that the system isn't set up to offer help to someone in your state of mind. It does not make you a loser that you don't actually want to invite a police/arrest/possible court order or criminal record situation into your life.
Is there any outpatient help available to you?
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