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This has been an interesting couple of days. My wife's oldest child came from Rochester. He is the son she had before she was married and put up for adoption. They reconnected about 12 years ago. He still lives in Webster, near Rochester and is only about 2 miles from where my wife lived and went to high school. The funny thing is that he looks a lot like my wife's late father, would be his grandfather. Anyway he wanted to come to see the only grandmother he still has before she goes. So he was here from Thursday until Saturday. He and my wife's other 2 sons spent most of the past 3 days here with their wives and some of the kids. The older teenager grand kids know that something is up with their great grandmother and seem to understand she is dying. The younger kids are less aware. So it was a bit lively here but my mother in law seemed to enjoy all the company. They ordered some pizzas Friday for lunch and my mother in law decided to have a slice. She ate about 2 bites of the topping and said that was enough. Other than that as of today it's been no food for 10 days.
We come over each morning to get her up at about 8am. We figure at that point she has been in bed about 12 hours and she really likes sitting in her recliner so we get her up. We switched to the small portable wheel chair for getting her to and from the bedroom to the bathroom or family room. I was getting worried about her ability to control her electric wheelchair with her being quite weak. She still passes a bit of urine, albeit the color is starting to get darker. My wife brushes her hair and gives her a warm wet washcloth to wipe her face. She rinses her mouth with some Listerine. Then she is led to her recliner, it's a motorized one so it raises up to help her stand or sit without a lot of effort. Today she seemed awfully weak, as I put my arms around her I could feel her weight and was careful that her legs did not buckle. Not sure if by Monday she will just need to remain in bed. At least Hospice got us an electric hospital bed.
I take her blood pressure every morning just to see what it is. Other than one morning last week where it was very low it really isn't too bad. Today it was 112 over 48, her resting heart rate was up at 72. I have one of those oxygen sensors that you put on the tip of a finger and it read 95 which is pretty good. But she is sleeping more now, she only wakes if she is startled. I think it says a lot about the body's ability to keep going.
When the kids were here over the weekend we talked a lot about all the things we need to find homes for here. I found a Facebook group for local garage sale type things you can list for free, sort of like Craig's List which we also have here. So I think the remaining furniture will find new homes. And I'm going to set up an Etsy store for the dolls that will be left over. I found handmade ones like hers on Ebay and Etsy and they typically go for $10-50. They are just to nice to discard or give to a thrift shop and we figure the money will go towards paying off the cremation, etc. She doesn't have any other real debts.
The hardest decision is that we think we decided we will put down her dog afterwards. The dog is 13 or so and not in good health. She has had 2 surgeries for stones in her bladder, a result of my mother in law always feeding her human food, especially dairy products like milk and cheese. If mom had a bowl of cereal the dog got one, too! The dog is like her shadow, follows her everywhere and sleeps in her lap, I don't think she will know what to do when she is gone. She also is not very well house trained and not social with other dogs so it makes it heard for other family to care for her. Tough decision but we feel it is the most humane.
My wife took off Thursday and Friday and figures she will be here Monday or until it's over. I come and go, Sitting in her apartment is like watching paint dry, there isn't much to do. My wife just wants to be here for her mother, she's been doing picture puzzles which is something I never have enjoyed doing.
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