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Silent · 06-30-2004, 08:03 AM

There are a lot of you out there with different experiences and perspectives than I and I'm hoping one of you may be able to offer some advise. I'll try and do this in a short form.

I my partner and I adopted a little grey and white stray kitty (or rather, she adopted us) that was living under the cabin I was renting 3 years ago. She was calling out from under the place late one night in Febuary and we could hear her as we lay talking in the bedroom. My partner imitated her cry and "meowed" back to her. The two of them had a little conversation back and forth for a few minutes before Laura (my partner) took some scaps out and managed to coax the dirtest little cat with the thickest fur coat and biggest eyes you've ever seen out from under the cabin.

Fast forward a few years and I buy a house and we move a few miles down the road to a new place away from roads and other houses surrounded by farms. Princess (silly name, I know, but it fit) had become Laura's baby and she really was truly unique. She had adopted the two of us as her kittens and would come to bed every night and lick us all clean. The only thing she demanded in return is that she had the right to come and go as she pleased so we always left a window open for her despite her incessant to bring home every mouse she caught for us to see.

Sunday night she didn't come home at the usual time. I went out to have a look for her.

While we had been out that afternoon they had mowed the hay field behind our house. She didn't know what a hay mower was. She probably couldn't even see it coming in the tall grass.
It took me a minute to tell what it was that had been hit and few more before I could find enough to make sure it was her. I managed to keep Laura away fro the site (thank god) and bury what I could find with her favorite blanket and stuffed mouse under the apple tree in the back yard.

Sorry if this is running on.

My problem is this: Everytime I look at a picture of her it is over laid with the image of what was left in the field. Everytime I try to close my eyes and try and remember what she felt like I remember what the too few pieces of her felt like insde the blanket. I am trying to celebrate her short life with Laura but I keep getting overwhelmed with anger at the violence of her death.

Will these images fade in time? Will the bad diminish and the good remain? Is there some sort of mental exorcise I can repeatedly perform to help? Does anyone have any similar experience?

Any and all advice people can offer is appreciated.

06-30-2004, 08:03 AM	#1
Silent Romanes Eunt Domus Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Nova Scotia Posts: 702	Looking for advise There are a lot of you out there with different experiences and perspectives than I and I'm hoping one of you may be able to offer some advise. I'll try and do this in a short form. I my partner and I adopted a little grey and white stray kitty (or rather, she adopted us) that was living under the cabin I was renting 3 years ago. She was calling out from under the place late one night in Febuary and we could hear her as we lay talking in the bedroom. My partner imitated her cry and "meowed" back to her. The two of them had a little conversation back and forth for a few minutes before Laura (my partner) took some scaps out and managed to coax the dirtest little cat with the thickest fur coat and biggest eyes you've ever seen out from under the cabin. Fast forward a few years and I buy a house and we move a few miles down the road to a new place away from roads and other houses surrounded by farms. Princess (silly name, I know, but it fit) had become Laura's baby and she really was truly unique. She had adopted the two of us as her kittens and would come to bed every night and lick us all clean. The only thing she demanded in return is that she had the right to come and go as she pleased so we always left a window open for her despite her incessant to bring home every mouse she caught for us to see. Sunday night she didn't come home at the usual time. I went out to have a look for her. While we had been out that afternoon they had mowed the hay field behind our house. She didn't know what a hay mower was. She probably couldn't even see it coming in the tall grass. It took me a minute to tell what it was that had been hit and few more before I could find enough to make sure it was her. I managed to keep Laura away fro the site (thank god) and bury what I could find with her favorite blanket and stuffed mouse under the apple tree in the back yard. Sorry if this is running on. My problem is this: Everytime I look at a picture of her it is over laid with the image of what was left in the field. Everytime I try to close my eyes and try and remember what she felt like I remember what the too few pieces of her felt like insde the blanket. I am trying to celebrate her short life with Laura but I keep getting overwhelmed with anger at the violence of her death. Will these images fade in time? Will the bad diminish and the good remain? Is there some sort of mental exorcise I can repeatedly perform to help? Does anyone have any similar experience? Any and all advice people can offer is appreciated.