View Single Post
Old 03-30-2018, 04:38 AM   #5677
Junior Master Dwellar
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buckinghamshire UK
Posts: 3,494
Gran's 'wise' advice actually total bollocks

Name:  nan4251.jpg
Views: 261
Size:  60.1 KB

A GRANDMOTHER’S advice on everything from cooking to men is complete bollocks, it has emerged.

88-year-old Mary Fisher is regularly assumed to have extensive experience-based wisdom but has actually just led a boring life for a very long period of time.

Granddaughter Katy Fisher said: “Due to gran’s age and kindly appearance I’d always thought advice like soaking your socks in vinegar before washing them was not complete arse.

“However I started the ‘wisdom’ that was ‘passed down’ from her mum is total drivel. For example, there’s no way sucking on a thimble can cure a migraine.

“She also told me to always agree with men because they’re intimidated by intelligent women. That cost me a relationship with a lovely, interesting guy who thought I was just very stupid.

“And recently I discovered steak is much nicer fried or grilled than boiled in brine for three hours.”

However Mary Fisher said: “When you put your washing out you should always tie a knot in your jumpers to stop badgers wearing them. Badgers are notorious jumper thieves.”
Given that the badgers resident within the bounds of one's ancestral pile outnumber the humans, I've yet to lose any item of laundry to them.

That said, this constant vigilance lark is damned tiring.

The Daily Mash UK
Carruthers is offline   Reply With Quote