[lumberjim]

I get my kids every other Saturday night..keep them until Sunday at about 8. on off weeks, I get them on Sunday morning at 10am, until 8p. And then I come up most Wednesdays and get them after school and have them until 8. The weds is kind of tough...I drive 3 hours to see them for 4.... so sometimes I beg off, so I can get some things done. It's pretty much my only time to myself.... cuz I work most of the rest of the week 9-9. I get the odd Tuesday morning or Friday afternoon to myself....

The best is when I have them Sat night, and Amanda picks them up from jinx and brings them to my house, then takes them home. I burn 2/3 of a tank of gas going up and back. Jinx has been super easy to deal with in this one area. I try to be as accommodating as possible too.

I really enjoyed having them 3 days solid over christmas.... these little short visits are cool, because I see them twice a week usually... but it's hard to get into anything but a day trip... and in winter... we just kind of wind up hanging out, being lazy. maybe go bowling, or out to eat...

I've learned that kids are very adaptable. but also...to pay attention to how they are reacting and to ask them occasionally if they are bothered by the arrangement. I found that Ripley was getting resentful when I would skip a Weds... or if I didn't pay enough attention when I DID have them. so we talked about it, and she let me know how she felt. ..and I let her know that sometimes I need some free time. She's 13, so most things are mostly a big deal. Spencer just rolls with it. as long as he has his laptop, tablet, phone, and a wifi connection, you can't piss him off.

Still... our relationship has definitely changed a bit. I wish I could be the one that has them 5 days a week, but it really is better for them to be with their mother. As far as I can tell, she is still an excellent, caring, and smart mother... not the kind of crazy you're dealing with foot. I still don't think she'd spit on me if I was on fire... but she seems to like my kids, so... hey.