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Just from your posts here, Rho, I know that while you might not be a "stand up and fight" it person, you are definitely a "not going to lay down and die" person, either.
I'm glad you're getting help with the long term mental effects. Something like that has _got_ to be stressful, and wear you down. At least you have a good man to stand by you, and give you the much needed mental and emotional support.
Sending good thoughts out to you, and wishes for strength, peace, and courage to face what lies ahead. 
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*blurry monitor moment*
Thanks for the words of encouragement. Yep, it's hard, but it's getting better, bit by bit.
And you're right...I am not a 'lay down and die' type. It just seems like people with chronic illnesses are supposed to act "brave" and be this strong, fighter type, which I can not claim to be 100%, and that's just me keeping it real. It's like if you dare to complain, then you are ungrateful for being alive and having the health that you
DO have. That's not the case at all. It's just that for me, I feel that it's best to be truthful about how I feel about all of this, instead of keeping it all inside and then blowing up all at once later on. That's not good for me, or for Syc. (hehe)
I feel bad because I did forget to mention Syc in my rant, about how he's been my rock and my anchor in all of this.
The one thing that I am proud of at this point is being a co-administrator for a dialysis board which allows patients to vent whenever they feel the need, but we also provide support and possible options in regards to patient and caregiver issues. There is also a fair amount of research, meaning many websites are posted for people to surf that may help them in their treatment and care. I try to encourage dialogue and to be more pro-active in individual care, because fear and ignorance is the worse thing for chronically ill patients.