Honestly. I think about it a lot.
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Suicide punishes the people who care about you the most.
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This is the only reason I don't.
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Suicide is the coward's way out.
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For some, perhaps. But, every day it seems like I am less, like I am being eaten from the inside out.
It is making my family sick as well. No matter how much I try to keep from them my suffering harms them more every day. It makes them sick as well and I cannot help but feel like they would be FAR better off without me.
Yesterday was a bad pain day, the trip was very hard on me. It was the day after my son's birthday.
The more pain I am in and the less I can function the more it seems that my family gets sick also and I keep thinking that the cure would be for me to go.
I have no plans, but I want their pain to stop far more than my own... not that that is not part of it, I confess.
There are things they do not know about my condition now. I have never kept secrets from my wife.
Have fun Bruce.