Thanks. I'm reminding myself to breathe, and to not overthink...
And this:
Quote:
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It's been a while since I had to engage with staff meetings, performance appraisals, back-to-work interviews etc etc. Not really since I was made redundant from the lit teaching and went swanning off to uni instead. I remember them being pointless, soul destroying, vindictive sessions. Like when they had a problem with my attendance (not my fucking fault I was ill. and you twats with your less than helpful help were stressing me out and making my stress related illness ten times worse) and had endless action plans to help me cope....fuck you, your system is broken, all your staff are either bitchy, ambitious, selfish fucks or decent people snowed down under the work of twice their number and constantly shifting and contradictory expectations.
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You're singing my song.
Was today the day the blind carpenter picked up his hammer and saw? We shall see, I guess.
In the meantime, some good luck would sure feel good. First my dad, and now even my mom (who, let's face it, have known me my whole life!) say 'You have the worst luck" or "if you ever have good luck it's going to be a doozy" and things like that. And THEY are the first sort of people who believe you essentially control your own destiny and make your own choices. Even they have had to look back on my life and say "sheesh girl, i remember when this happened which ruined your chances of that happening" or any of the other number of troubles that seem to find me.
But, as you said Dana (and thanks) I AM actively involved in getting healthy and I know it won't happen overnight and I have hope. I'm still going to run into shit, at work or anywhere. I just can't let said shit run over ME.