That's true, monster. If it's someone I knew really well I will also attend the funeral, or instead of the visitation.
in state just means a 'viewing' as far as I can see.
(I hope you don't mind some levity: the first visitation my youngest niece went to really confused her. She tells us later "we went to visit him and he was already dead!)
So sorry for the loss of your friend's mother.
