Quote:
Originally Posted by BigV
It takes two, man.
You mentioned you got some good out of some of my divorce related posts. There are plenty of them here, including ones with apologies, ones with calculations, etc. So far, you haven't done anything I haven't done.
A chance? Sure, there's always a chance. But if you just move the needle back to the start of the record, you're gonna find the same skips and pops; it's the same song. Until you're both singing a different song, you'll never have a different ending.
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i dont' think i remember seen posts of apologies... i wouldn't mind to try and learn from them.
as for the song, honestly so much of what i blamed her for was behaviors that in retrospect i pushed her into... sure, either one of us could have handled things differently to stop our little co-destructive cycles, but for me at least i was too close to actually see what i was causing. in a normal relationship i could have just moved out for awhile to figure things out, but with the immigration thing and not being able to legally work this wasn't a normal relationship.
and there's a lot more - i didn't know what i needed. for example without having a little space for myself, even just a desk, i find myself intellectually stunted...
and i am generally a very extraverted person, so not knowing anybody, not having a framework i can make social connections in, was bloody killing me.
i think after having had the space to figure things out, that if i would go into it in a position of power - and by power i reallly just mean financial independence - we could actually make it work and make each other happy.
but so far no answer... nothing.