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Q: How do you stop black guys from hanging around in your front yard?
A: Hang one in the back yard.
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A really old Jewish man wins the largest California Lottery jackpot in history and he's on television when they ask him if he'd like to say anything. He says, "Yes. I'd like to thank Hitler for this money." The stunned reporter asks, "Hitler?!? You want to thank Hitler???" The old man rolls up his sleeve, points to his arm and says, "Yep. He's the one who gave me the numbers."
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Q: What's long black and stinky?
A: The unemployment line
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Q: What do you call a black man with a PhD in Astrophysics, and another PhD in Microbiology?
A: Nigger.
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Q: What's the difference between a gay man and a microwave?
A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to lube your car?
A: One, but you've got to hit him just right.
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Q: How was the Grand Canyon created?
A: A Jewish guy dropped a quarter down a gopher hole.
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Q: How come Jewish guys wear that little cap on their head?
A: Because they don't want to pay for the propeller to go with it.
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Q: What do you get when Mexicans and Mormons have kids together?
A: A cellar full of stolen food.
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"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
- George Carlin
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