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Originally Posted by soul13
I don't think for one minute that it hurts a child, seeing a parent upset
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Disagree
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...as long as they understand it's not because of them. If they've seen you and they don't know why they can easily jump to conclusions.
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Ding-ding-ding! Now agree completely.
I have always blamed myself for every bad feeling my mother has.
Possibly by being told so many times as a child that I caused all the rows in the house and they would get a divorce and it would all be my fault.
Children can deal with so much as long as they know they are loved and not responsible for the bad things. I've met teens who were taken into care who had closer bonds with their mother than I ever did. They did not feel alienated or abandoned, or suffer teen angst "Nobody understands me!" as those of us with "normal" families did. They just wanted their mum to get better/ recover/ get help.
Keep breathing. It helps.